THE SO MUCH LESS GAY and NOT WRITTEN WITH GAY BIG WORDS version of THE CRONICLE HISTORY OF HENRY THE FIFTH formerly by William Shakespeare

This from Scott Lynch's LiveJournal:

By now, much of the internet that lives in the actual 21st century has pilloried the bejeezus out of Orson Scott Card's "revelatory version" of Hamlet. Now, now, I can't help but feel that there might be some hidden genius in this notion of squeezing out all the hard words, tossing out all the actual characterization from the original plays, and substituting moral conclusions totally divorced from the tone, temper, and context of what our buddy Bill "Plastic Man" Shakespeare mistakenly thought he was driving at.

As I threatened on Twitter, I would therefore like to present excerpts from my forthcoming re-interpreted masterpiece...

Check it out! :P